


Whispers of Recognition

by wistfulpisces



Series: 221 Word Drabbles [8]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, I just want them to be happy, Inspired by Poetry, M/M, POV John Watson, Pining, Pining John, but they're not there yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 11:13:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14104110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wistfulpisces/pseuds/wistfulpisces
Summary: John feels like, for his own good, he needs to put some distance between himself and Sherlock.





	Whispers of Recognition

I can’t tell if it’s paranoia or reality that makes me sense your suspicions.

It’s nothing tangible, nothing concrete, only hair's-breadth moments where our eyes meet and there’s _something_ there. Not just those jolts of self-consciousness I used to feel with such proximity, nor that leap of static electricity that occurs whenever you make a particularly brilliant deduction or I do something that surprises you.

Something of an altogether different nature, that whispers of recognition.

I feel guilty and confused, conflicted and ashamed, and I'm _sorry_ , but _I love you._ That’s the hard and fast truth: I want you and I can't have you. Having made my peace with it in theory doesn't make it hurt any less.

I’m scared of what pulling away from you could do. For every date of mine that you’ve rudely interrupted, every surgery shift cut short by a text proclaiming some imagined accident in the flat, I’ve been glad to rush home to you. Despite the inconvenience and my overt irritation, reuniting with you feels like the world righting itself, like standing before a mirror, smoothing out a tailored button-down with a nod.

I want to stay with you always – oh god, I do – but I need to look after myself. I need to secure an anchor so as not to lose myself to this.


End file.
